I am currently a consultant ophthalmologist at a London teaching hospital
with two small children aged 6 and 3. I had my first child when I was a second
year registrar and needed a solution to childcare that did not cost the earth
and allowed me the flexibility of working sometimes rather unpredictable and
long hours. I had grown up with au pairs and so had some idea of what they
were like, but my husband was rather reticent about having someone living
at home with us.
A friend of a friend initially found our first au pair as she was Polish and
knew of a girl who wanted to come to the UK. She didn’t speak much English
at first but was very quick to learn. I was able to teach her the routine
I wanted with my son who was about 8 months at the time. As an au pair she
couldn’t look after a child full time and so we
opted to send our son to nursery during the day and she dropped him off
and picked him up in the afternoons after her English classes. She fitted
in
really easily within our family and helped with dropping and picking, meal-
times, bath time, bedtime and babysitting and light housework. She also
looked after my son in case of illness.
Although she stayed with us, we hardly ever knew she was there, after the
children were in bed she used to study or watch TV in her room or go out
with her friends. Since our initial au pair we’ve had 4 other girls
and we’ve
had a good experience with all of them (They unfortunately only usually
stay a year- although 2 stayed a year and a half). We still keep in touch
with a couple and the children get an awful lot out of playing with them
and teaching them English! Some pointers which you may find useful when
employing an au pair:
1) As they are from abroad they tend to quite bright and hard-working
2) There are a number of agencies with whom you can discuss your needs. Simply
Au-pairs is a good one www.simplyaupairs.com.
Alternatively, I have used the “Gumtree” www.gumtree.com
although it is important to check references and interview them personally
if you use this source.
3) Since they live with you, they are incredibly economical (usually £75-90
per week). You obviously have to pay their board and lodgings (I also subsidise
their flights home and English classes). They tend to cook for themselves
but they rarely eat big meals.
4) They are happy to do about 20-30 hours a week (35 hrs -au pair plus) as
they go to English classes a few times a week during the day. It is therefore
not a substitute for a nanny, but I used a full time nursery when my children
were young and then when they start school, an au pair is ideal.
5) You get to know them quite well as they become part of the family. Having
said this, they are often happy to keep themselves to themselves in the evenings
and respect your privacy. You don’t have to eat with them in the evenings
although they sometimes eat with us at weekends with the children.
6) All our au pairs have been invaluable in terms of helping out in the evenings
and mornings- getting the children dressed and fed and bathed. They also make
great babysitters as this is included in the weekly charge. The children already
know them really well. Most au pairs will do light household chores and so
you don’t have to come home to a pile of washing up or ironing.
7) My children love playing games with the au pair and get a lot out of having
someone to interact with other than their parents. Additionally we have had
no problems with the changeover each year- as children are so adaptable.
8) It is important when choosing an au pair to see them interacting with your
children before hand. That way you can assess their level of English and see
how good they are with children. We have often had the au pair meet us and
spend a few hours or days with us to get to know them before employing them.
We have also had a week overlapping with the previous one to handover properly.
9) The one downside is that you need an extra room for them. This does not
need to be big.
10) Although some may feel it is an invasion of your privacy having someone
stay with you, they quickly become an invaluable part of the family and can
help out in many situations- making life easy and stress free and enable you
to get a good work-life balance.
Choosing an au pair as a childcare option is certainly not for everyone, but
it can actually be a solution that is incredibly economical and a really good
experience for both you and for your children. It gives you the freedom to
go back to work without the hassle of needing to rush back every night to
relieve the nanny or pick up the children from school. It has certainly been
the optimal type of childcare for me and my family.
