Combining
work as a Doctor with Caring
for Elderly Parents
Many
thanks to Dr Melanie Jones, MWF Past-President for producing this page for
us.
A carer is someone who looks after and supports another person who could not
manage without their help and 3 in 5 adults will be a carer at some point
in their lives. Increasing numbers of women doctors find themselves with carer’s
responsibilities for elderly parents.
Whilst male doctors may also be in this situation, the role usually falls
to a
daughter.
The challenge of combining caring for children, parents and patients was the
subject of a workshop at the May 2011 MWF Spring meeting. The following
points come from those who have already experienced this situation and aim
to help those doctors who find themselves part to the “sandwich generation”
caring for both younger and older family members.
Challenges
you may face and suggestions to make your life easier:
• The time and commitment required varies
depending on your work and other family demands, and the level of support
from your siblings / spouse
• Look after your own health – you
can’t function as a carer if you are unwell / run down
• Make sure you are contactable but ensure
that everyone understands there will be times when you cant be interrupted
• Your children (the grandchildren) can
take on some tasks and contribute to care
• You may be seen by the rest of the family
as an expert relative – try to keep the role of carer separate from
the fact you are a doctor
• Your wider family may expect you to act
as the “medical voice” when dealing with the NHS and Social services
– give yourself permission to say NO if you feel this is an additional
burden
• Only move your parent to live close to
you if they agree
• You are doing your best in difficult
circumstances, try not to feel guilty about not having enough time, share
your thoughts with family and friends, explain to your children what is happening
to their grandparent
Doctor
and Carer
• You will want to care for your patients
• Maintaining empathy in work and outside
work can be a challenge
• Your clinical knowledge may not be applicable
to your relatives’ clinical issues – ask to speak to their doctors
• Follow GMC guidance about treating your
family and ensure your relative has their own doctor.
• Telling your colleagues at work will
ensure they understand what is happening. They can provide support.
• Ask for help if you feel that the situation
outside work is affecting your ability to provide patient care – Occupational
health services and your own GP can assist.
Support
from your employer
• Inform your line manager that you have
carers responsibilities
• Make sure you understand what leave you
are entitled to as a carer
• Look at your employers Policy on Carers
Leave
• Some employers have Day Care arrangements
for elderly dependents of staff
Dealing with Financial
and Legal Matters
• Setting up direct debits removes the
requirement to pay bills when
they arrive
• Make sure your elderly parents have made
wills. Who are the
executors?
• Consider Lasting Power of attorney for
financial and health matters
– this needs to be set up whilst the elderly person still has capacity
to consent to this arrangement.
• The Mental Capacity Act provides a framework
so that individuals
are empowered to make their own decisions and their families and
carers are clear on what actions they can take
• Has your parent made an advance statement
(used to inform decisions on treatment) or an advanced decision (legally binding)?
Help
is available for you and your parent from many other sources:
• Social Services – your elderly
parent should have an allocated social worker.
• Community Nursing Services
• Palliative Care team
• Voluntary groups
• Private Care agencies
• Residential and Nursing homes
• Carers groups – these local associations
are an invaluable link to what is available locally and provide support to
carers
• Hospital outreach programmes –
useful if your parent has recently been discharged from hospital
• Day centres for the elderly
• Direct Gov http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/CaringForSomeone/index.htm
an excellent source of information and links to other organisations
• Age UK has excellent web pages for Carers
http://www.ageuk.org.uk/home-and-care/are-you-a-carer/
• Attendance allowance may be available
and give you additional financial support
• Some local authorities are able to provide
carer’s relief using respite care
Final hint: Being a doctor
is a busy life, a quick phone call everyday for a general chat with your elderly
parent helps you both.
With many thanks to all the workshop attendees for producing the contents
of these pages.
